_{Will my dismissive avoidant ex come back reddit. Wh Will my dismissive avoidant ex come back reddit. When there are arguments they ignore you for hours and hang/play with friends , even if you cry or are stressed about anything they just dip and come back once you feel better , mine even had the habit of saying "call me when you feel better" :') While some people feeling pushed away by a dismissive avoidant try harder, put in more effort to get a dismissive avoidant to love them back and give more to the relationship, others become resentful and angry with a dismissive avoidant for constantly pushing them away and keeping them at a distance. Mar 6, 2022 · The dismissive avoidant puts you on a pedestal and when they see the flaws in you, which they look for just so they can come up with a reason to distance themselves, they come to the conclusion that you aren’t the person for them. People with this attachment style aren’t big on processing difficult emotions because, often, they struggle with emotional intelligence. My ex was avoidant , my god no offense to avoidant people but it takes a LOT of patience. Then they notice some worrying things. They wrongly assume that eventually, no contact . Left cause I was upset he'd spend his holidays w his ex wife and her family and not come to see me and my family. Regret After Deactivating for Months. Social media stalking is the same reasons as why anyone stalks their ex. First things first though, I’d like to cover the . Done that. Discovered today "dismissive avoidant attachment" she matches this point by point to a tee. If you do this or that, they will throw a . [deleted] • 3 yr. The more a dismissive’s partner asks for intimacy and attention, the more rejecting the dismissive becomes. You cannot make someone unblock you, talk to you, hear you out, or love you. It’s a safe way for them to get attention and belonging without getting hurt. I agree with you on this, and avoidants tend to be quite strong/resilient due to having to be survivors and be independent. My ex broke things off with me about 8-9 months ago, after planning a trip to come visit me and telling me he loved me and thought I was the one who got away (we had broken up since I moved to a different state for work) and saying he believed in our relationship. In hindsight, I subconsciously always chose people who were “safe. No one deserves that. This includes your ex acting on impulse, lacking relationship skills, and appearing impatient, frustrated, angry and vengeful. You will have a chance to get your power back. Take a break from social media. This is not a jab. This was after being in contact for 4 months. Clearly. It's just brain chemistry. My (27F) dismissive avoidant ex (39M) broke up with me in beginning of aug after 2. Every day is a battle. That was in May. You need to act secure to attract back your avoidant ex, but you might not want them anymore. thereisalion. Yes, avoidant do have regrets. I always felt even though we were falling in love she was somehow keeping me at arms length. so not had them come back but currently going through it. Feb 1, 2021 · Take the quiz. When relationships fall apart, it happens for a reason (and attraction has never been the reason in any of my cases). Women with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style won’t be kicking your door down trying to get back together with you. You're basically going through withdrawal and you need your hit, and I can't get that directly anymore so I'll look at what you're doing online. Before I knew what an avoidant was I would describe the relationship as one sided, neglectful, emotionally unavailable, bad communication, lack of intimacy, user/slightly narcissistic, walking on egg shells to avoid conflict, just a really difficult relationship. The first time he broke up with me, he came back a little over a month later and things were so much worse. Other sources say that after 3-6 months after the breakup they may try to approach by indirect messages. I would look at the actions. But hurt people who don't get help go on to hurt other people, and DA's are the most resistant to getting help. Some anxious exes find themselves becoming more fearful of contact and asking themselves the same questions fearful avoidants ask: How much should I text my dismissive . I got friendzoned and breadcrumbed really hard. Add a Comment. I broke up with my ex after dating her for nine months. there is literally no way to win this battle. You will get frustrated, you will get angry, and that will push them even farther still. Attachment styles help us understand why someone behaves a certain way, it’s not an excuse or reason to accept less than what you deserve. Feb 25, 2022 · Let them get through their party phase or whatever it is they're going through to get their relief. And honestly if the anxious person responds to the avoidant's apprehension with anger like in the given example, its a perfect demonstration of why they'd both need to self-improve if . That anxious person won’t give them any space. “Some of my friends thought he was emotionally abusing me” He WAS. I realise i was way too needy and I'm willing to work on it if he'd give me a second chance. My Real Life Story Of Breakup Nostalgia. Depending what kind of relationship you had with them, it will reflect on how you treat those close to you as an adult. The reason why you need to leave your avoidant ex alone is so that your ex: gets what he/she asked for. Unreliable caretakers in childhood have left them with a deep subconscious fear of intimacy, and close attachments are seen as unneeded. Sep 9, 2022 · 5)Distraction. The question isn’t will they come back, it’s if they come back will they just do the same thing to me again? And the answer is most likely. • 4 yr. Attachment disorders whether anxious, dismissive, or fearful are all rooted in childhood neglect and/or abuse. I learned about where my avoidant behaviors come from and ways to heal. The third best sign your ex will eventually come back is if your ex lacked emotional self-control throughout your relationship. If you’ve been involved with a dismissive avoidant for too long, there’s a high chance you’re trauma bonded and that is a challenge in itself to break. A pain that doesn't go away, because you still love them!!! but in the end of the day, they chose their panth. mattgross1. ilikecinnarolls. Dismissive Avoidants have apparently high self-esteem and low assessments of others in a relationship. Mother was cold to her in her childhood even lived with her grandparents as a teenager because of it. My ex is a dismissive avoidant. Pointless, selfish and hurtful. 1. Tell yourself : She's doing this for you. I think at the start of the relationship I think I was more fearful avoidant, distant sometimes, but fell for them very hard. Turns out she still had feelings the whole time, so yes I’d say this type of behaviour is relatively common with DA’s. I was with my avoidant ex for a year before I left they can have LTRs but that doesn’t mean they aren’t avoidant in that relationship. 5 years. By the time they come back, you are almost certainly going to be in a better position. My man-brain said she's just an emotional woman, extra feminine and I'd like that in my life. Like clockwork, DAs always come back when you follow the rules. • 3 yr. The last dismissive-avoidant stage of a breakup is the distraction stage. Yes I am lmao 🤣 😂 I know statistics shows that males come back more often but it's because we are dumped more, 80% of the time women do the dumping, yea 3 of the girls left me, I cut all contact after begging and time did it's job, one of them came back like 4 times the other one came back like twice, the only one that didn't come back . I’d classify the relationship similar to that of a shooting star. I’d 100% rather be with someone who’s anxious and actually shows that they give af about me than someone who you have to constantly remind “hey I’m here please acknowledge me. They do come back but you'll wish they didn't. All you represent now is pressure and your own needs. Please don’t beat your head against the wall. It's 10 months on for me and I'm over him, but still recovering from the head mess from him. if you are anxious, you may perceive an avoidant as being toxic, so, for example . They'll string you along with false hope of a reconciliation and use you for sex to ease their transition in getting over you then drop you all over again. Probably about 3-4 months of NC than the usual 1 month/45 day window. Psychologists and coaches agree that avoidant people start to feel that the relationship is over 2-3 months after the breakup. Thanks so much for the insight. Don’t try, it will make them push away more and more. I mean, obsessed beyond what I consider normal. Vent. We’ve spotted an avoidant ladies and gebts. At that point, WHY would you want an avoidant at all, When there are much more stable, loving, secure and affectionate people out there? As soon as you detach from the avoidant the idea of a relationship with them is ew-ifying. She had a puppy and was obsessed with it. We broke up 6 months ago and have had no contact since. Respect his space and respect yourself. , are all great ways to focus on yourself instead of your ex. They will miss you after relief period if you leave them alone but that doesn't mean they will come back. The first reason a dismissive avoidant ex may come back to you is if the relationship ended on neutral or positive terms. They want connection like everyone else, but their . hope you're happy and healthy. I’m a fearful avoidant in recovery, and have been for some time. I am a dismissive-avoidant that has returned to nearly all my exes (within 3-4 months, if I initiated the breakup). Usually takes them 4-12 months or even years. They come back if you don't chase and leave them alone. That’s not it. Just talking like a normal person. Seeing your posts makes an avoidant feel like they’re communicating with you because they tend to get a lot of fulfillment from interacting with people on social media. More often than not, an avoidant ex who ends a relationship prematurely is often overwhelmed by discomfort and unwillingness to recognize their own anxiety. Now, if the dismissive-avoidant was the one who broke up with you, how they feel is going to be a little bit different. 5 weeks later to my genuine surprise. AlertSheepherder6279. at happened remember that the dumper IS ALWAYS the one who has to make the first move. Jul 13, 2022 · Published on July 13th, 2022. 3 Ways No Contact Hurts Your Chances (Attachment Styles) “No Contact” Vs. If I did it's either an accident or I didn't know it told you I looked. An avoidant ex may return after some time since they've had enough space from you to begin idealizing you again. The truth is, our way of seeing the world are completely different. . People, including avoidants, do have feelings and so yes it is possible that they come back. Parts were fraught with excitement and new experiences but ultimately those memories were fleeting. God damn a dismissive-avoidant did really hurt your award-winning writer feelings. 6. They need time to get out of deactivation and get their rational thinking back and be able to stop dissociating from what was good. They come back to see your reaction, test the waters, then leave and shelf you . They who lack healthy relationships are forced to rely on those who hurt them. It hurts so bad when you realise you were fighting for both and they let you suffer for a month or two without communicating or explain nothing. 5 weeks of NC. My anxious partner fell out of love with me. Do not sacrifice your happiness for the sake of another. From a former dismissive avoidant (DA) perspective, most of my romantic connections are “casual” “superficial. That was about 7 months into a relationship. They b fall in love and them become terrified. If you initiated, I never reach out on my own. It’s a sign of immaturity. My ex dumped me 3 weeks ago. I’ve seen so many of my friends having the opportunity to sit down with their ex, try to fix thing or just to get closure by having an adult . What Makes A Dismissive Avoidant Ex Miss You And Come Back? How Long It Takes Dismissive Avoidants To . To an avoidant personality 30 days feels like 10 days. They think a dismissive avoidant feels separation anxiety just like an ex with an anxious attachment, the only difference is that the effects of the break-up take time to hit for a dismissive avoidant. Let your avoidant ex get what they want but more. He remains unaware of his DA. The phase where they don't have to have somebody relying on them and trying to make them who they want them to be. As paradoxical as it may seem, to attract the dismissive-avoidant ex back, you need to set a list of clear boundaries and expectations and accept that there is a risk of losing them by doing so. Today, if she called me, I don't think I would pick up. i do notice signs though that she misses me. When he broke up with me I of course got the blame. So, understanding your attachment style will help you understand how and why we select our future . Sep 27, 2019 · 3)Your ex is the impulsive type. At the end of November she said she was 100% done and I went into NC. Yeah the key is to just go NC and try to move on with your life, that's the only way you can give them the "space" to be less avoidant and more curious about you. If someone isn't contacting you anymore, they don't miss you enough and their negative thoughts seem to outweigh the positive. Take care of how you present yourself. Dating and exes returning is not black and white for everyone. She may ignore you. One person said the dismissive avoidant love bombs and when withdraws. • 2 yr. If you don’t matter to them, they won’t bother answering at all. They could have broken up with you for a few reasons. Therapy for avoidant attachment includes naming and understanding emotions, being more comfortable with them. I’m fucked if I do and I’m fucked if I don’t. They are miserable, sad, and broken. If they want you around, they’ll respond sooner or later (probably later, and probably with something dismissive). These are all signs your ex could eventually come back . I was the dismissive avoidant that was dumped by the anxious. unfortunately, a lot of avoidant communication is curt and non-verbal, and clearly this doesn’t work for you. This will likely decrease the chances of your ex coming back. My dismissive avoidant ex broke up with me and this is what I learnt. Tmyslshrdt. I'm really sorry though that you got caught up in a bad relationship with a jerk. From reading the book “Attached”, I learned there’s a concept of a “phantom ex” in attachment theory, which is an ex that can feel ever-present in your life, even when they’re not there. (Beginning of the relationship was like a dream come true though so. There is a lot of guys who will put up with their behavior and girls are less likely. After a couple months, at the end, he told me he didn’t know if he loved me from the time we got back together. It gives them space to miss you. Sometimes you have to learn how to let them go, to be able to move on for yourself. This has been me for the past 7 months! Trying to get my avoidant ex back on my life. To an anxious personality 30 days feels like 60 days. This is what many people hope will happen when they go no contact with a dismissive avoidant ex. I was also anxious-attached while my ex was avoidant-attached. Never reached out to them but talking/ranting with friends have helped. They value autonomy, space, and freedom. It's a coping strategy. How often dismissive avoidant exes come back. Left for two months saying he couldn't give me what I wanted and didn't feel how I felt, then came back making promises of being the man I deserved. I'd never heard of DA. It's not that they can move on more easily, she just moved on during the end of the relationship. Don't worry about what you "deserve" or don't deserve. Just because someone is dismissive avoidant doesn’t mean their behavior isn’t emotionally abusive. • 1 yr. They just have a problem of showcasing their emotions. It’s very difficult to get back an ex-girlfriend if she was a dismissive-avoidant because dismissive avoidants view relationships as extra, unneeded work. On days I don't feel low, I build up courage to say to myself that I'm better off without my dismissive avoidant ex. Having one can impede your current relationship if you’re in one. 4 months on, i work with my dismissive avoidant ex. My ex reached out after 3. They risk losing it all they are so terrified. Her previous relationships were also longer term 3-4 years so they can have longer term relationships but it won’t cure the avoidance. It’s to embody secure attachment to the point where nothing they do can bother you. So, they are more at a loss when you stop chasing them. - I’m looking for Avoidant attachers to answer for themselves, not for their exes or partners. By nature dismissive avoidants don’t accept responsibility Well or take criticism well. " The worst breakup is with an avoidant ex. Avoidant dumpers do come back. I have the self respect to walk away. . While I am soft and warm and I want and give intimacy, he views that as unnecessary and needy. When I returned, I usually felt like I had been putting a ton of . Also went through a vicious rollercoaster of ups and downs, does he love me, does he not, why won’t he show me any love or effort or understanding, etc. For example, “I’m DA and I've done that, and this is why. They don't come back because they're sorry and they've grown or changed and want to try again. 3. 17. But never for the reasons you want. Everyone is different, and you know your ex better than any of us, and if the letter will help you get closure, then I don’t see a problem with writing it, but you should be prepared for the potential consequences that may come with writing it. Avoidants will rarely return to a place or a person that represents pain, shame, guilt and broken dreams. [deleted] OP • 7 mo. Nov 16, 2023 · This time and space that you give to your ex can be utilized to work on yourself and take care of your physical and mental health. So like a ghost (phantom). So, most people don’t ever think their dismissive avoidant ex wants them back because there are no “big” signs. Distant avoidant strengths are great in being single but bring really nothing to the table in a relationship, fear of communication, commitment, affection, lack of emotions, fear of rejection, abandonment, lack of responsibility to spouse and greed for their own expectations in a relationship without ever being able to put in a relationship . I was not aware that I had an avoidant attachment style, deactivated, broke up with her and continued on with my life as if nothing had even happened. to me, with people that aren't avoidant-dismissive, relating to them seems like it so all or nothing compared to how i prefer to relate to . A “Cool Off” Period After A Break-Up. Maybe if your ex is FA, he will miss you but because of the insecurity I can't imagine he will come back. Jan 31, 2022 · Here’s how it works, The avoidant thinks, “I just want someone to love me. If you try to help them, they get annoyed. I also deactivated all my social media accounts because it's been causing me anxiety during lockdown. I would just like to know how you and your ex had got back together. Learn to detach yourself, because you cannot make someone see your worth. If they don’t figure out that problem deeply and the tools to overcome it, most likely from a long time of therapy it ends up being a repeat pattern. Once they emotionally detach, most dismissive avoidants don’t get back feelings for an ex. After the last time I went NC for three months until we met up to exchange our stuff. honestly sometimes they probably never want to be contacted again. No contact does work on them it takes much longer usually 3-6 months usually. looking at me when she thinks i dont notice, change in mood when im within her sight and stays kinda subdued for awhile. Nov 17, 2022 · Afraid of trying to love, Afraid of getting close. All makes sense now. Mar 22, 2022 · So, as a dismissive avoidant has this ever happened to me? Why yes, it has. He or she doesn’t show any interest and affection and is completely void of romantic feelings. Avoidants hold back their feelings and suppress their emotions whereas anxious people tend to be more open and expressive. ago. -----Yesterday, after 5 months of NC my dismissive-avoidant ex gf text me saying "hey, just wanting to say hi. 7. Been there. The common reason dismissive avoidant dumpers come back is because they developed a strong attachment to an ex. ” 1. Fearful avoidants are kind of hard to guess because they will fluctuate between feeling like it’s been 15 days (end of the relief phase) and 45 days . They hook up with an anxious attached person and think they’ve found someone and their troubles are over. Of all the attachment styles, dismissive avoidants are the least likely to come back. Left a dismissive avoidant. What I got instead were bland surface level ramblings from his point of view that bore no reference to insight or apology. Sometimes even though they miss you their fear of rejection doesn’t allow them to reach out. Has anyone had a dismissive avoidant ex come back? I know this question has probably been asked before. If you try to show them affection, they get bored. 32 comments. Just don’t reach out. But any response at all is a good sign, because that’s them opening the door. So, once they realize that you guys have had one too many fights. The dismissive avoidant ex pulling away because the new relationship is progressing to where the anxious ex will start asking for more contact and closeness, or reassurance. It's not healthy for you and it'll make you feel like you're never good enough. 32. No Contact Works Differently With A Dismissive Avoidant Ex. Then you wait some more. It feels like he has an avoidant attachment style based on how our relationship ran its course, how it ended, and what's happening after it ended. They have an unrealistic view of what relationships are supposed to be. Yes. Exercising, pursuing your hobbies, eating well, journaling, etc. Avoidants take personal inventory of their relationship of the amount of fights you two have had, not how much closer or how well you two emotionally bonded. I don't know if I want him back as my boyfriend. Once they get past that, if they see a future with you, it'll be a good time for you to reach back out. Dating a dismissive avoidant person is like dating a narcissist. Perhaps this is a story as old as time. How A Fearful Avoidant Ex Comes Back – A Detailed Analysis. They come back out of guilt, or to breadcrumb you, or to get an ego stroke. Or alexithmya. The way they love you terrified them to their core. It feels too dangerous. I used to think ghosting was an avoidant tick; it’s not. But after another week of radio silence, I blocked her. It was really hard at first, but I literally have not thought about her lately. You will be walking on eggshells and one small mistake that reminds them of the past and they will trigger and begin their cold exit journey. 8. She may get defensive and aggressive. Relationships are stressful to someone with an avoidant attachment style. almost 10mo no contact and found out my ex is talking to someone for 2,3 months now. And I did it for me. I’m able to let things flow, and enjoy getting to know someone. But this can take them quite some time. If he’s blocked you, I suggest you stop trying to reach out. Honestly, I’m unsure if he ever cared or loved me. Whatever you do, you MUST communicate your needs. Each one has their own demons to battle and all exhibit negative traits in different ways. Attachment Theory helps you understand how your relationship was with your parents when you were a child. But the fact is it wasn’t us. It is worth noting that avoidant attachment affects around 30% of the population. I AP, micro-cheated on her, FA. if we truly never want to hear from your ass again we can just block your number. If your ex has an avoidant attachment style, he or she probably avoids highly emotional topics. She's doing this so that you can heal. She reaches out four months later and asks to meet up. If you decide you want this person you must remain steady and be there when they come back around. Avoidant attachment works by reducing pain while . Nov 28, 2022 · The dismissive-avoidant breakup ended on positive or neutral terms. Either they felt betrayed or they felt smothered by you, or they felt like they could never be enough, or they built up resentment . "They" do. “Love in such a way that the other person feels free. Spent essentially every second together. We had a very close and loving 7 month relationship. Dismissive avoidants in general do not get attached and by the time the relationship ends, most dismissive avoidants are ready to move on. I’ve not experienced a lot of breakups, but I can assure you this is the worst type of breakup because you simply can’t expect anything from them. stormynitesky. Jan 24, 2022 · Dismissive avoidant breaks up with you. My avoidant ex broke up with me periodically only to come back within the week, we were stuck in a modified version of the anxious-avoidant cycle for years, 3 of our 4 spent together. A month ago, I was hoping every day that my ex would message me and tell me that she wants to fix things and maybe going to therapy like I suggested. By "they" I mean if the breakup was caused by deactivation and not them being done-done, if they do care, all you need to do is give them space for 2-3 months and then reach out in a warm, nonthreatening way. Jun 20, 2022 · In my opinion, dismissive avoidants usually won’t come back to you unless they are given enough time to begin “longing” for you and even then they tend to like fawning after you from afar. I’m avoidant and I was in another relationship about 2-3 months after I ended the relationship with my previous girlfriend of two years. Avoidants come back but never on your terms. Dec 11, 2019 · There are four major attachment styles —secure, anxious, fearful-avoidant, and dismissive-avoidant—which are essentially part of your subconscious makeup. Anything else is toxic a our username so close, i thought i typed this up and was reading it over again haha. May 11, 2022 · Reasons Why No Contact Works With An Avoidant Ex. The worst part is that some avoidants may never differentiate their own emotions. In my experience, whenever an avoidant has reached back out to me, it's usually 4 months+ no contact and I'm already in a better relationship. This is where they start to emotionally distance themselves to avoid experiencing that hurt. Will my dismissive avoidant (DA) ex come back? How do I best support him? So my (27M) DA boyfriend (30M) of over a year broke up with me out of the blue less than a week ago saying that he had a gut feeling that he did not see a future with me. Over the past few years my team and I have had the opportunity to study avoidant individuals in depth and I think the answer we came to might shock you. They can inform how a person forms . It's very classic. Today we’re going to be talking about if you can expect an avoidant to come back to you after they ghost you. I discovered attachment theory probably a week after my first relationship ended and started doing a lot of research into it. 41 votes, 33 comments. As much as I would like to point my fingers at the dismissive avoidant card, I can really only blame myself because I know better. My avoidant ex attempted to get back in contact and be friends multiple times after our break up despite me telling them each time that I didn’t want to be friends. Doubtful, don't hold your breath. true. Don't wait up for them to return, you may die sooner than they return. If you want to reach one day, when you feel completely ready, you can. Having an ex not doing breadcrumb is a godsend. Do avoidant exes eventually return or try to reconnect? My ex (28m) broke up with me (28f) just over three weeks ago. They will. ” In the early stages, there is no attachment or dependency. He said he needed space, we had come to a breaking point after fighting a lot and him pulling away and I told him that either this relationship should move forward or let me go. But even if they come back they're still an avoidant and the same patterns will emerge eventually. but in the case that they do, you might as well try. respects you for listening to his or her needs. ”. They’ll probably be better off with other avoidants. He’d ghost me for weeks. Don’t give him or her the luxury of knowing you miss them or want them back. BREAKUPS. I’m AA and my ex bf is DA. as a rule of thumb, there is a big "phantom ex" effect when it comes to the dissmissive avoidant. Afraid of experiencing the same ’emotional desert’ they have endured all their childhood. For anxious attachment it's the opposite I think, learning to reel in the emotional response and take a breath before making rash decisions. Aug 18, 2022 · 3. Let them sit with the silence and the result of their behavior until reality hits. • 1 mo. If you already got broken up with, you likely already know how avoidant the dismissive-avoidant is. I broke up with a girl that was very anxiously attached to me. But my ex had it. And my foolish pride says blocking makes me look weak. ” Not “My FA/DA ex did XYZ” - This is a JUDGMENT FREE ZONE, where Avoidants can answer these questions open and honestly. Best thing for Secure & Anxious people to do is avoid the avoidants. Aug 29, 2022 · They are self-sufficient and the polar opposite of people with an anxious attachment style. If we are unconsciously taught the mandate "don’t have feelings, don’t show feelings, don’t need anything from anyone, ever" - then running away is the best way we can safely accomplish that mandate. If the dog got a cold and sneezed she'd cry. I tried to stop making them into the “bad guy” because of their dismissive avoidant attachment style and have come to terms that the lying/being played/selfish/one-sided relationship has nothing to do with me but has to do with the fact of their own (internal struggles/trauma from the past). there's no way you would know that, though. It they’re an avoidant fearful or dismissive and they’re not healed or in the process of healing then they’re a waste of time. They start thinking of leaving. If they respond, you wait some more. Sep 7, 2021 · Be really generous and give your ex more than he or she needs. I want to stop waiting for her text. This is why sometimes the best solution for trying to win that avoidant dismissive person back is to get over them. I would have loved an email apology from my dismissive avoidant exbf telling me he's discovered attachment theory and what he's doing about it. This is something that has formed from . They might have been more avoidant at the start. Provide so much space and time that your ex will enjoy the freedom and appreciate your absence. the person in question may actually miss you really much, and internalize that feeling. Plus IF they do, it’ll be a ploy to rope you back into the games and hot and cold behaviour with no substance behind the messages whatsoever. Jan 31, 2022 · If an avoidant ex is afraid of too much contact or too serious of a relationship, give him or her the exact opposite. May 22, 2017 · I think my ex was more fearful avoidant but still had traits of dismissive. We had a little bit of a fight (we rarely ever fought) and distanced herself for a week and half. 5yrs, broke up 2m ago. But I know I’ll engage when (not if) she reaches out. She reached out with an indirect-direct approach 3. dumped via a snapchat and she avoids interacting with me at all costs. I was anxious and just because my ex needed to improve doesn't mean she wasn't right to expect more from me after I became too dependent and anxiously attached. For a dismissive avoidant, they usually take the longest to reach out because they can sit with their inner turmoil longer. Attachment Theory. And instead of rage, you feel pain. 123 jaaru vvqg kpwqln ydm lqnda oznrj gknpg krz hupfc nka}